Even Alta Sonora didn’t escape the recent spate of wintry weather unscathed. It’s been unseasonably cold, but nothing like the blizzard conditions weighing down much of the country last week. It’s all proven to be decidedly short-lived…at least for now. I can’t say the same for that other perfect storm…the one engulfing Wall Streets and the economy at large.

The financial crisis, we are told from every source, is really a credit crisis with borrowers unable to access loans and thus keep the economy afloat. The reaction of the Federal Reserve, on the other hand, has been to slash interest rates in the hope of spurring more lending and triggering more “economic activity”. Two weeks ago, this strategy reached it’s apex with the Fed setting it’s federal funds rate target for 0%. Everyone huddles around the financial campfire, hoping the end of our suffering is near. But alas, the Fed’s decision will do just the opposite and usher in a pernicious new phase to the recession.

The credit crisis began, as you probably know, when banks began to fear lending to one another because of the sudden collapse of investment banks like Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers that owned vast quantities of collateralized debt obligations or CDOs. These were not mortgages, but bonds issued by banks that could be acquired by various parties…be it a pension fund, foreign bank, or even….the investment arm of Yale’s endowment. However, for the bonds to retain value, people had to keep paying their mortgage in some semblance of regularity.

Meanwhile, of course, the default of homeowners on their loans causes much of the affected housing supply to end up in foreclosure. Thus a vicious cycle of devaluation occurs to the point that (combined with suddenly lower energy prices) deflation appears to be a huge threat to the economy at large. Deflation tends to have negative impacts on markets and lending because if the opinion of the consumer is that prices will continue to fall, they will delay purchasing. Moreover, as the intrinsic value of money declines (i.e. $10 goes farther in year 2 than year 1…) the whole concept of lending is more or less destroyed. Charging interest on $10 only makes sense if the $10 is going to buy as much or less than it does later on. Should $10 buy more in the future than it does now, interest, as a mechanism breaks down.

This is in a nutshell, why the Fed cut rates so furiously. The idea being that if the cost of interest is very low to begin with, the borrower might still come out ahead even if deflation continues to lower prices in the months ahead. As far as textbook economics goes, this is sound strategy…but as I am about to explain in our current circumstance this is a colossal blunder the likes of which the world has never seen since New Coke. The reason being that your economic textbook makes several assumptions, and in our case, none are true.

1) The cause of the deflation involves an actual decline in society’s wealth, not a speculative bubble. There might be some guy who lives in a cave still unaware of the extent a run up in home prices was triggered by speculation, lax rules, and out-and-out fraud. But the fact is, no matter how many toxic loans you think are out there, it doesn’t change the fact that these promissory notes are in fact, counterfeit cash. And there in lies the problem. A huge increase in the money supply creates inflation. However, since CDOs were not as liquid as say, dollar bills, their limit was constrained to capital markets and not consumer ones. But that didn’t stop gasoline prices from surging when investment banks took income from selling CDOs and used it to bid speculatively on you guessed it…oil futures. Still, it’s hard to find evidence that prices for everything across the board is collapsing. Food, energy, and health care costs continue to rise…making it hard to believe this is real deflation….or at least deflation not caused by a bubble.

2) There are plenty of credit-worthy borrowers to pick up the slack. The econ textbook assumes ceribus paribus or that all other factors are equal. But here’s our dilemma: because of the incident of fraud it’s hard to suggest that the number of credit-worthy borrowers overall (whether or not they took out a mortgage in the first place) is greater than the unwashed, uncredit-worthy masses (like myself). To think of it another way, if 80 out of 100 creditworthy borrowers already have a mortgage, that leaves only 20 credit-worthy borrowers who might be induced to borrow if interest rates decline (because the total cost of the loan goes down). But if more than 20 subprime borrowers default in the interim, the credit worthy borrowers can’t absorb the loss and the strategy fails. Again, while there  is no hard count as to how many “toxic” mortgages. were originated it appears to be a large enough number such that there may not be enough credit-worthy candidates out there to keep things afloat.

3) Our kids will save us. Even if there aren’t enough potential borrowers right now, economists might say, there will be over time, and this will also solve the problem…albeit more slowly. Again, the circumstances call this into question. First, the Baby Boom generation is larger than subsequent ones. In addition, there has been no increase in the real wage since the 1960s, meaning that the aggregate wealth of younger generations may in fact, be less than their parents. (The real wage could increase, but this is really dependant on everyone’s inheritance). On top of that, realize that many younger Americans are up to their eyeballs in debt for reason having nothing to do with the housing market. Many of us (including yours truly) are half-submerged in a quagmire of student loans which effectively eliminates our credit worthiness no matter how high our credit scores are (or aren’t). And even those who escaped their education unscathed still have a different problem: which is that credit scores and ratings are so highly utilized now by all manner of companies as to materially affect their ability to build a credit history.  And then if that isn’t even enough, don’t forget that the Iraq War has left many younger Americans permanently disabled and unable to support themselves.

4) Immigrants are part of the solution.  Make no mistake, the housing boom was in large part reliant on massive immigration. On the one hand, there were those individuals who took out loans, while the other saw a huge supply of cheap labor and capital to build new housing. But even if we as a nation adopted immigration policies as liberal as say, Canada, we’d still have a credit crisis. For one, both Asian-Americans and Hispanics tend to have more conservatively beliefs about savings versus spending in general. Two, a tremendous amount of the mortgage fraud that occurred targeted both Latinos and blacks. Three, most Hispanics come to the country to take jobs that don’t exactly pay well. While this isn’t true in regards to say computer engineers, the latter may in fact work for less than their American-born counterparts regardless of ethnicity. Thus, it’s hard to see how immigrants magically replace the nation’s native born credit worthy borrowing base which will eventually die off.

Ergo, it’s likely that all this rate cutting is going to have one ultimate impact: hyperinflation. I know, it seems hard to believe in a time when workers only hear about pay cuts and merchants put whole stores on sale that the real danger is needing a wheelbarrow full of cash to visit the supermarket. But as far as I am concerned, that is what keeps me up at night these days.

Don’t expect however, to see massive inflation occur tomorrow. It will likely appear gradually, but won’t be put in check by higher interest rates until it’s much too late.

If you were potty-trained by the mid-90s you might remember the film "Jingle All the Way". Arnold Schwarzenegger (playing a totally normal guy) tries to move mountains to find the gift that his son desperately wants and just happens to also be the season's hottest seller: Turbo Man.

This weekend I didn't have quite as tall an order, but it still felt like it. Rita's eight year old son (who I'm all but certain has no idea this blog exists) sought to buy him a new skateboard courtesy of "Santa". His last one, a modest number bought at Wal-Mart, recently lived up to its flimsy construction and broke. Hence the need was on to find a real skateboard that could take the punishment that only prepubescent youth can dish out.

The kids safely preoccupied with Chey at a hockey game, Rita and I began our search for some other gifts at Costco. I pointed out, however, that there was a target in the same strip mall. We went inside and navigated our way to the skateboard section and found...nothing...literally. Every single item was sold out and the sales associates offered bleak news from their inventory manager devices.

So we took our chances at the mall. The irony is that while the local rideshop actually had good boards on sale, they lacked pads and helmets that would fit an eight-year-old. And so the real hunt began...not for the gift itself but the vital accessory.

Rest assured, there was no climatic battle with Sinbad. In fact, there hardly a climax at all.. just a slow acquiescence at the local Big 5: These will do.

After it was over, I thought about how...even with the economy being in a funk...parents really do try to give the best to their kids. Granted, no one is going to suggest "Jingle" supplant "It's a Wonderful Life"...but I suppose the former can claim to be about a story just as timeless.

But wait a minute...

Skateboards, you say?

The industry standing tall to lead us out of the economic quagmire is...skateboarding?

The truth is that even the ol' rideshop was holding a sale this weekend. But it certainly wasn't empty...which is more than I can say for some of the stores I trudged through. And standing there, I could see the new generation of kids who would measure their freedom based on having the right board, smoking a bowl, and sneaking early out of sixth period. And then it hit me...

...there was a reason I didn't get into skateboarding.

Yes, yes it's that time of year again...the most wonderful time of the year. Reminders are everywhere that the college football season is upon us. The Heisman has been awarded, snowing is falling on the ground, and schools are out for winter break.

Of course, not all is well in Bowl-land, and it has nothing to do with Barack Obama's proclamation about the sport needing a playoff. No, it's called the BCS. The Bowl Championship Series always had gotten a bum rap for seemingly being completely unable to formulate an accurate statistical measurement of who is the national champion. But without sounding too existentialist here...college football isn't supposed to have a clear-cut winner anyway. If it did, the aura and mystique would largely of the sport would die. Not because of the playoff per se, but because of the inherent parochialism. In essence, winning isn't everything in college football.

The BCS though has really done us wrong this year. By selecting as many Big Ten, Big 12, and SEC teams as possible, the remaining bowls have been left with slim pickings. Thus, the bowl season offers perhaps the largest slate of forgettable games that I can remember. Nevertheless, there are roses among the thorns, and below you will find my personal list of must-sees.

Las Vegas Bowl: BYU v. Arizona: On paper this is a classic match up of strength versus strength. Arizona's solid defense against pass-happy BYU. But...uh...that's not the real reason to see this game. No it's that the Cougars (or any team in the Mountain West) can't do any better unless they end up in the BCS.  For the PAC-10 though, this game is usually an afterthought. (Witness Utah's 10-6 defeat of a Pete Carroll led USC in 2001.) Arizona, however, hasn't been to a bowl game in a decade. The Wildcats also boast a team full of seniors and a coach on the hot seat.

Poinsettia Bowl: Boise State v. TCU: When the Holiday Bowl isn't winter's big draw in San Diego, you know something's up. TCU is the coming-outta-nowhere contender for the Mountain West that fell short to Utah. Boise State is the undefeated champion of the Western Athletic Conference and they are scheduled to duke it out on a random Tuesday in December. Huh? If you ever need evidence of the influence of the "superconference" this game is it. Boise State already has a Fiesta Bowl trophy under its belt (against Oklahoma no less) but couldn't match the supposed economic value of Ohio State's fan base. So instead we get a great game that means almost nothing (unless something really freaky happens in the BCS). Still, it's worth your time because...well...what else are you going to do that night?

Alamo Bowl: Missouri v. Northwestern: The fast, slick turf of the Alamodome has seen plenty of great ones, and this is shaping up to be one of those games. The Tigers dominated the Big 12 North only to struggle in the South. The Wildcats, meanwhile, played in the shadows until a season-ending victory to Illinois. For Missouri the goal will be turning both QB Chase Daniel and WR Jeremy Maclin loose. Northwestern, fittingly, seeks to unleash it's defense which led the Big 10 in sacks.

Cotton Bowl: Mississippi v. Texas Tech: This could easily be the best of them all. (Too bad I'm supposed to be at work that day). Texas Tech's high-flying offense propelled it to the cusp of the National Championship game. The Rebels, meanwhile, shocked Florida at home before catching fire to end the season. Now they both face each other in a game that has big implication for 2009. Texas Tech coach Mike Leach was as good as gone we thought, but now he will probably return with or without QB Graham Harrell and WR Michael Crabtree. Mississippi's Houston Nutt is also going nowhere, having just signed a contract extension. Jevan Snead is also returning.

Sugar Bowl: Utah v. Alabama: This should be the Bowl of Hard Knocks. Utah ran the table, but because it doesn't play in the Big 12 couldn't get serious consideration for the National Championship game. Alabama's only crime was to lose its conference championship game to Florida. (Conference championship games are not supposed to count in calculating the BCS). Now both schools have a glimmer of hope to claim the AP championship if the title game ends inconclusively. A Utah win reinforces the belief in the B(C)S, while an Alabama victory (coupled with a Florida loss) will fuel speculation all spring.

It's rare when I plan on going out both Friday and Saturday night. Part of this is because of my chronically deficient sleep pattern during the week...and part of this is because...well I like watching "Bill Moyers Journal" on Friday nights all right?

This week though, I had little recourse as there was both the office Christmas party and a coworker's party for a friend of his. Thus, I did the unthinkable and went out two nights in a row.

The Crunk Factory actually has no official Christmas party. That's because government agencies are usually prohibited from using taxpayer to fund events for employees. So the office Christmas party is really a coworker who opens up his house to past and current employees for a potluck. (Although this year he provided all the food.) But keep in mind, because of the number of alumni the Christmas party is an interesting time to catch up not just with coworkers but employees at other agencies who used to work at the Factory.

Saturday night however, was just a tad more offbeat. Brandon, one of the new hires at the office, invited me to a birthday party for his friend Jennifer. The catch....it was at a skating rink. Beforehand though, they planned a late dinner at Buca d' Beppo in Frontierland.

I walked in an couldn't recognize anyone. I mentioned that I was looking for the party to the staff and they said..."oh you mean the 70s party?". And then I realized...I was really out of fashion.

Everyone, including Brandon, was dressed with wigs and other accessories to look like extras from the 1970s. (I should add the birthday girl was born in 1983). But that's okay because aside from my lame attire, I had a fun time meeting everyone and getting ready for the rink. The other detail I've left out is that we actually chartered the rink, so it was just us there in the middle of the night....with kegs of beer. People skated, people tumbled, and people got up and skated some more.

 It had been probably two decades since I wore roller skates though, so I cautiously made my way to the rink along the carpet with little or no effort. But then I got there and...

I stood there terrified of my sore legs and knees giving out on me. People noticed and wondered if I was having a bad time but I had a great time watching more ....capable....people skate and tumble. And if that wasn't great enough...Brandon decided to ambush Jennifer with a visit from Dora the Explorer. Yes that's right a person in costume who sang for the guest of honor. Now I stayed sober to be able to drive home at 2am...but still... watching Dora do a serenade in the middle of the night was priceless all the same.

You know it's a bad sign when the highlight of my work week was steak sandwich day at the cafeteria. It was a let down of course, but only because I had savored the gustatory prowess of Sunset Grille on the way back from the Magic Kingdom.

Indeed, the circumstances were perfect for just that type of distraction one seldom needs. And in my case, it turned out to be...

..."the Real Housewives of Orange County".

I know, I know, you are wondering how I even managed to find myself watching Bravo! in the first place. I honestly don't know, but if I recall correctly there was supposed to be a new episode of "Bizarre Foods" with Andrew Zimmern and I got lost.

Still, with episodes scheduled back-to-back, I found myself watching it for hours...at times intently and at times not. I'd like to tell you that it's utter crap and bereft of any value. But, uh, I don't think that's possible.

First things first. The premise of the show is important. It follows the life of five women (married or not) all flaxen-haired, who supposedly all lived in Coto de Caza. (Over the years, the latter is no longer true.) But it's probably true that the program correctly identifies certain stereotypes about life south of the Orange Curtain.

On the one hand, you might think the biggest crime "the Real Housewives" commit is what I call "Seinfeld syndrome". Despite being set in an area of ethnic diversity, nearly everyone on the screen is bone white. (Don't get too cocky, "Friends" was guilty of the same damn thing.) However, it's true that Coto and the rest of South County won't be mistaken for New York City (or Fullerton for that matter).

Or perhaps you just are just tired of reality shows that chronicle the exploits of the idle rich, whether their name is Osbourne, Montag, or Kardashian. The "Housewives" are for the most part gainfully employed. That is, if you count being a realtor as gainful employment. I have to admit though, that still puts them head-and-shoulders above Anna Nicole Smith, Denise Richards, and pretty much all the Kardashians.

By the same token, you might be utterly sick of all the sun-dappled landscape shots, with the Pacific Ocean breaking on the shore and palm trees fluttering the breeze. The montages of expensive cars gleaming in the afternoon, and stately homes looming over yards that look like feudal manses. And oh I know, it makes you disgusted, sick to your very stomach....

But then again, you probably never saw the short-lived HBO Series "K Street" did you? It was about a public relations firm played by pundits (Mary Matalin and James Carville) who played themselves. Fictional characters mixed with real people with taught direction and complicated, dense scripts. It all made for a great, subtle, show that was of course, "ahead of its time". Since "K-Street" premiered in 2003, I have rarely seen reality TV that matched it's sense of direction and vision. 

"The Real Housewives" however, did.

Moreover just as "K Street" hovered in a marsh of spin and propaganda, there was real substance beneath the surface. So too did I get that feeling watching "The Real Housewives", even though it was more obscure and intangible. You get the feeling the series is a social scientist's dream....or nightmare.

Still, rest assured I am not sure I will become a regular viewer. "The Real Housewives", after all, is on at the same time as "Frontline".

It was a quiet weekend this time around...you know a little sports on the TV...some excellent hiking...and a mailbox full of bills. It goes without saying though, that this week was no ordinary game...but none other than UCLA vs. USC...the day in which all of Southern California stands still....

For Bruins fans, this year though has been a disappointment. UCLA lost the most number of games (8) since the the 60s. One of these saw the worst margin of defeat since the Depression. Injuries piled up. And quarterback Kevin Craft set a team record for interceptions (20). 

Unfortunately, for the Bruin Nation, this could be our winter of discontent. No, really.

Too much attention is being focused, in my opinion, on the seemingly ass-bad play of Craft. Too many people are convinced that the arrival of super-phenom quarterback recruit Richard Brehaut will solve everything and assuredly end the "football monopoly" in Los Angeles. Riiight....

Don't get me wrong: I think that Brehaut is an elite player and will start. However, I do not think it wise to assume that he will be ready to start as a true freshman. That's something that Ohio State didn't even do with Terrelle Pryor. Someone else is going to have to take that first snap, and (gasp) it might have to be Kevin Craft.

But even if Brehaut magically transforms into Tim Tebow, I wouldn't be exactly sanguine.

UCLA's offensive problems weren't limited to Craft or even the passing game. Kahlil Bell, the team's senior running back finished the season with a whopping 397 yards from scrimmage and seven TD's. As you might imagine, this is an indication of serious weakness on the offensive line. This is a little disconcerting as the trenches used to be a strength under Bob Toledo and performed very well when Tom Cable was offensive coordinator from 2004-05. But sadly no more.

In 2008, UCLA used ten separate combinations on the offensive line...one for each game except the finale. Injuries did play a role, but so did ability. Micah Kia, the last four star recruit of UCLA's for that position, didn't even start for a month.

Which brings us back to Brehaut. You would think that Neuheisel, aware of this glaring weakness, would have made signing lineman a priority. But so far, he's signed one four-start offensive lineman, Stan Hasiak of Hawai'i. He's also in hot pursuit of two more, John Martinez and Xavier Sua-Filo, both of Utah. Add in three-star commit Greg Capella and Neuheisel could literally start from scratch. But that's still going to mean an agonizing slow 2009 as all these players learn the system and improve. Bell's departure and a lack of a break out star among the receivers is another problem.

The defense, which has been sensational, also has concerns. Chief is that defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker might bolt for a head coaching gig of his own. That would likely motivate Reggie Carter to declare for the draft. Such a loss of leadership would be a major blow, even though the defense has no shortage of depth or new recruits coming on board.

And then there's the schedule, which is less than reassuring. The 2009 season starts against San Diego State, the team which, coincidentally might hire DeWayne Walker as coach. The following week, the Bruins head to Rocky Top to play the Tennessee Volunteers. The nonconference schedule closes with a visit from the Mildcats of Kansas State. Even if the Bruins win all of these, they still have to come up with three conference wins to be bowl eligible:

at Stanford Cardinal
Oct 3

Oregon Ducks
Oct 10

California Bears
Oct 17

at Arizona Wildcats
Oct 24

at Oregon State Beavers
Oct 31

Washington Huskies
Nov 7

at Washington State Cougars
Nov 14

Arizona State Sun Devils
Nov 21

at USC Trojans
Nov 28

What this means is that we get to play three of the top five teams in the conference on the road. Secondly, we get to play the woeful Washington State Cougars in the Palouse as well, where we tend to struggle. The opener at Stanford also doesn't help.

In the meantime, here's hoping that this winter of discontent is made a glorious summer by the son of York....whoever he is.

Just in case you wondering about what indications are left that point to something other than total economic malaise, count out the UCLA Campus Events Commission. Last night, they capped off their film screening series with... "Pirates II: Stagnati's Revenge". Among other things, it's the most expensive porn film ever made. For Campus Events its precisely the sort of controversial, attention-grabbing stunt to attract attention to the rest of your activities. Moreover, I should add that the Daily Bruin went to great lengths to explain the rationale:

UCLA’s Campus Events Commission will screen “Stagnetti’s Revenge” Wednesday in Ackerman Grand Ballroom, followed by a question and answer panel featuring Joone and several cast members.

CEC Commissioner Penson Liu, a fourth-year psychology student, hopes that students will benefit from the panel after the screening.

“We wanted to spark this dialogue of how the adult film industry, mainstream media, and regular films are becoming so (similar) ... There’s a blurring of that line,” he said....

Liu noted that in 1978, CEC screened another X-rated film, “Deep Throat,” directed by Gerard Damiano and starring Linda Lovelace. Given the precedent of “Deep Throat,” one of the most profitable adult films of all time and one that captured the mainstream audience’s attention, Liu said CEC concluded that “Pirates II” might be an diversifying addition to its usual calendar of free sneaks. [link]

Hmm, I don't get even want to guess what sort of "diversity" he's talking about.

Still, before you judge the Commission too much realize that a free screening of "How High" (minus Method Man and Red Man) occurred in 2001 in part because it was filmed on UCLA's campus. I know because I was there. And lest I not forget the time I voluntarily, with other normal people sat in the very same venue to see "Requiem for a Dream".

Now why you ask, is this a phenomenon of the ever-imploding economy? One the great anecdotes of the Great Depression is how the popularity of women's fashion and actress migrated away from the modernist waif look and towards the more voluptuous Mae West. It's hardly a proven theory, but few people doubt sex sells.

Oh and in case you are wondering, the event sold out. Part of this in fact, was because an on campus Christian group deliberately reserved some free seats to stage a protest. Now that's what I'm talking about. Even without the annual "Beat 'SC" bonfire rally, we Bruins have no problem getting aroused....Er, um....you get the idea.

Penson Liu, for his part, looks like such a genius, Barack Obama should probably nominate him to manage the much-maligned Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) for his Administration. He also gets credit for doing Murphy Hall a huge favor: distracting debate away from why the school agreed to have the vaunted UCLA-USC football game on the first day of ....finals.

With the brunt of budget season bearing down, and the weather taking a turn for the worse, it was time to make my escape. It was time for...Thanksgiving!

For nearly my entire life, I spent the last weekend in in November with my paternal grandmother and other members of my dad's family for the holiday. But then in 2006, Grandma decided to go on a cruise instead. She ended up celebrating Thanksgiving at one of my aunt's and I was invited to join her.

While she reversed herself last year, I was already in Alta Sonora by then, and not as able to get back to California where she lives.

Rita, meanwhile, had bought a vacation package for the Disney Hotel for her and her kids. With Chey not going, that left her to find someone, anyone, to go with her. I thought it really unlikely that I would get enough time off to go with her. But well, um, anyway....

There it was Wednesday night, with the skies splattering rain all over and I was on her parents patio in San Diego, eating a wonderful steak dinner. One of her uncles happens to host the dinner (a massive affair to say the least), while the other hosts many of her family living in the LA area at a hotel he manages in Old Town San Diego. So while we spent plenty of time at her folks house hanging with her sister and the former's boyfriend, I essentially provided added muscle for Turkey Day.

Come Friday though, I had to help her drive up to Anaheim. After that, she and the kids went to the pool while I (suffering from a stuffy head) went to the gas station and Target to stock up on bottled water and Cold-Eeze tablets. Friday night was her daughter's fifth birthday...allowing the magic to begin.

I suggested to Rita that we celebrate at Rainforest Cafe, perhaps the most gauche of all destination restaurants one could imagine. But the food is good enough to recommend it, especially if little kids are involved. But before we sat down to eat amid the gorillas, elephants and the like...I suggested she think hard about visiting the World of Disney store to get her souvenir shopping out of the way. Over the next hour, we descended into what might be many people's version of hell. Hundreds of people and their overactive kids sauntering, splashing around, trying to figure out just what they might want to buy. After an hour of that, Rita was done and we escaped to the Cafe.

The next day, we awoke early as being Disney Hotel guests we were allowed into the park at 7am. As you can imagine, it was pretty quiet at that hour and that allowed us to head straight for Rita's favorite Space Mountain. Her daughter though, wasn't having any of that, and we spent the next two hours marching across the landscape hitting every major ride that was open and finding almost no lines. About 10am, we stopped to have brunch at the River Belle Terrace and I came to appreciate how poor the quality of food at the park has become.

And then, the bomb dropped. Rita wanted to go back to the room to take a nap. And that meant until our 4:30pm dinner reservation at the Blue Bayou, I was in charge of her two kids, aged eight and five.

[Duhn, duhn, duhn, duhn.]

It was time to rumble.

Even though the park was busy, several rides had pathetically short lines including Autopia. So my plan to use Fast Passes fell through because they only made sense for a few rides. Her daughter wasn't tall enough for Indiana Jones, didn't want Space Mountain or Big Thunder,  and I didn't have a dry place to store my digital camera to go on Splash Mountain again.

So I ingeniously went on Autopia twice, letting one child after the other steer as I hit the pedal. Then we went on the Matterhorn, the Tea Cups, the Matterhorn, and then we found out our stroller rental was .... missing. That required me to march all over creation to find the replacement stroller location. Upon arrival though I was told I needed the receipt, which Rita had...back in the room. So her daughter decided to soldier on and hit Big Thunder Mountain before I told the kids we had to take a bathroom break. Her daughter staged a fit, so it was back to the hotel room under their mother's orders.

But by the time we came it was time to head back to New Orleans Square. To conserve time and avoid the parade, I had us take the monorail and then connect to the train station in Tomorrowland allowing us to be right on time. Ah, yes. She and I then had the grave indignity finding out that the Blue Bayou, long an institution at the park, has also become a casualty of mediocrity...eliminating the prime rib from their menu and scuttling the clam chowder with it.

After dinner we took the Jungle Cruise in the dark, a first for all of us. But then, we had to scramble to get back to Tomorrowland, as a parade threatened to cut us off from the monorail station. We just barely made it, and decided to take in a few rides before leaving around quarter after seven....a full 12 hours after I step foot in the Magic Kingdom.

Of course the REAL adventure was driving from back from Anaheim on the Sunday after Thanksgiving with two rambunctious kids. But that at least, ended without incident.

The longer I find myself in the working world, the more I realize how important vacations are. (And I like to travel, mind you.) It helped me realize that in fact I do have a life outside of the budget planet and values and needs beyond my career. But at the same time, it's hard to escape without the trappings of family.

So why didn't I use the time off to see my own flesh and blood. Pismo Beach, where my Grandma lives, is a just a tad longer drive from Cougar County than either Anaheim or San Diego. But don't forget, I do get lots of time off in the summer.